About Me
Hello! I’m JJ Nightling: hardcore introvert, committed optimist, part-time author, and full-time executor of shenanigans. Welcome to my website! I’m happy you’re here.
You may be wondering...what is a Nightling?
To me, the name nightling belongs to anyone who has ever felt like they were standing outside the circle. When I was 14 years old, I suffered a traumatic brain injury. In the span of a few days, I went from being a straight-A athlete to being the weird girl who couldn’t talk right, couldn’t walk right, couldn’t think right. Even now, many years later, I vividly remember what it felt like to see friends, acquaintances, and strangers looking at me like I was a comedy of errors, as if my slip ups were staged for their enjoyment. No matter where I went or who I talked to, I was the oddball.
And this is where my story starts: a teenage girl with dwindling self-esteem with not a whole lot that I knew I could count on. I couldn’t even count on me: In the aftermath of my injury, my body and mind refused to obey commands. Answer the question. No. Walk down the hall. No. …Not a great situation for a diehard perfectionist to find herself in.
The journey between then and now is a long one, and I don’t want to bore you with the nitty gritty details. BUT I do want to share with you the key ingredients that made sure that my story didn’t stop with the teenage girl who felt totally and utterly alone.
Good people
One of the less attractive sides of injury and illness that people rarely talk about is the slow evaporation of friends and social support. It’s hard to detect sometimes because the outpouring of help is so robust in the beginning. People flock to the hospital with casseroles and condolences, professing phrases like, If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to call on us. And this usually lasts for two weeks, maybe three. But many of us have seen what happens after: people disappear. And it’s not always their fault. It’s hard to know what to do or what to say when things don’t return to the comfortable realm of normal.
But then there are the people who don’t disappear, the ones who don’t shy away from the challenge of being present, being available, being open. (Shout out to the friend who routinely jumped on messenger at three in the morning because I had so much trouble sleeping.) And we nightlings know it well – these people make all the difference.
Creative interpretation of the world
When I was recovering from my injury, I discovered a huge spider outside my window (size of a golf ball…no joke). After performing about ten tests to verify that he was, in fact, outside the window, I let him be. Most nights, I watched as the spider rebuilt his web from scratch after it had been torn down from thunderstorms during the day. Moral of the story: after an injury and an aftermath that seemed insurmountable, a spider taught me how to put my world back together again.
A healthy dose of silliness
There are a lot of important things in the world. Also a lot of hate and a lot of misinformation. We have to fight for ourselves and fight for the things that matter, and it’s all too easy to fall into the trap of taking ourselves too seriously. In this milieu of high stakes decisions, I recommend dabbling in silliness every so often. Get chocolate chip pancakes just because. Jump up and down when you’re excited. Talk in a funny voice. Watch your favorite kid’s movie with a box of gummy bears. (…not that I’m talking from personal experience…)
Meet the Team
Office Manager
AKA “Monkey”, AKA Boss Lady, AKA Master of the Side Eye
Tag line: “Your willpower is NO MATCH for my cute-itude.”
Assistant to the Office Manager
AKA “Mater”, AKA Mr. Will-Eat-Anything-At-Any-Time
Tag line: “Yes, I am named after a vegetable, errr…fruit?”